Take this into account on your next trip to MCDS

This is a simple step-by-step guide on the even more simple task of ordering an edible item through a fast food drive thru. Please note that all examples here were taken from a sample site at the McDonald's in Apple Valley, thus this manual is written assuming it is for a trip to mcDonalds. Also, some steps will give a real life example of what NOT to do (i.e. something that really happened) as denoted by an EX

Step 1- In order to determine what kind of food you are in the mood for, assess what time of the day it is. Although this is a more store-specific step, it is highly like that if a store says that they don't serve biscuits after 11:00 in the morning, and it is 4:00 in the afternoon, it is HIGHLY likely that that store does not have any biscuits. Accommodate your tastes to the current time of day as to avoid any embarrassment.

Step 2- If you are in a car, it is highly likely that you have somewhat of a drive to your mcdonalds of choice. During this otherwise boring period of the day, take the time to determine what you want BEFORE you reach the order takers in drive thru. If you make this time productive, you can order faster, hence you will get through faster, hence you will be happily consuming your artery clogging food that much faster. EX: A woman reached the drive thru, asked us to hold on for a sec while she figures out what she wants. She was there for FIVE MINUTES+. When the managers asked her to move along, she angrily went in the store and yelled at us, saying we were too rude and pushy. For a five minute order? I don't think so.

Step 3- When you have figured out what food you want, carefully assess every word of the food in which you want. While this may seem unnecessary, it is a healthy step in determining that you are ordering what you actually want, so as to figure out what is in your food. EX ONE: A man was inquiring about the size of our food and asked "Is the Big Mac sandwich actually a big sandwich" NO. ITS ACTUALLY THE SIZE OF A FINGERNAIL. EX TWO: A woman asked "Is there any sugar in sweet tea?".......no comment

Step 4- Determine that you are actually where you want to be. Simply look at the sign and confirm that you are indeed driving into the mcdonalds drive thru. EX: someone pulled up and order a large pop for herself. Then they ordered a basket of burritos. They had been under the assumption that they were pulling into the TACO BELL DRIVE THRU. Which was on the complete opposite side of the drive thru. Note that this person had to pas by at least three different Mcdonalds arches, not to mention the Mcdonalds menu.

Step 5- Have some money in a convenient location for paying for your food in a timely manner. Do not put it in a random place that will take you some time to get out. EX ONE: One person had to dig thru their purse for 3 min just to find all the change necessary. EX TWO: Another person was at the window, then realized where their wallet was. They proceeded to get out of their car and dig through their TRUNK for a min just to get their wallet.

Step 6- Assume we are not gods that are ultimately perfect in the world. Things can and will go wrong in the story. Your order might not always be able to be completed. Please understand this. EX: A woman was passed her drink, but was told that it didn't have any ice because the machine wasn't working. She then threw her drink back at the person handing it out, and screamed and swore at the presenter. Then after she drove away, she came back and THREATENED US. OVER ICE.

Step 7- When grabbing the food, assume a firm grip on the bag once it is presented to you. Reel your hand holding the bag or the drinks into the car, taking into account the height of the window in your car, so as to prevent EX: a man pulling in his drinks and hitting the top of his car with them, spilling his drinks in his car.

Step 8- If you are kindly asked to park to wait for the food, and if you have been waiting for more than 10 min, just walk back into the store and ask for your food, because we might have forgot about it or we are having problems. EX: some people claimed they had been waiting outside for 50 min waiting for a 10-nugget.

Step 9- Drive out of the Mcdonalds parking lot, keeping in mind that the laws of traffic can still apply.

And you're done! You have successfully completed the completely uncomplicated process of ordering food through the take out. Please keep this manual in mind for future visits. Enjoy your artery cloggers!!

Please feel free to print out and distribute this manual as you see fit